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Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

I love being a boy mom. My husband’s family is full, full, full of boys and we continued the trend with two of our own. But, I’ll be honest, there were days I wondered what it would be like to have a daughter. I imagined tea parties, dress up dates, chick-flicks and drama queens. I never missed the drama queen part, but I know, from being one, that daughters have a special relationship with their moms. I can dream about sweet and happy times because I never had a daughter. And I have friends with daughters – so I’ve heard horror stories, along with the good times. But God heard what I never even expressed and now I have two daughters…daughters of my heart.

Don and I prayed for these girls way before we ever knew them. We prayed for our sons’ future wives…that they would know and love God, desire to serve and follow Him; that they would be prepared by their own parents to be the wives my sons would need. I asked God to give me daughters I would love with my whole heart, and who would love me in return. I learned a lot about mother- and daughter-in-law relationships in my own marriage and I hoped to be the type of “other” mother my girls would want to spend time with…and that I could encourage and love them as I would want to be.

God is so good!

Kids_NTB_concert_2017Three years ago my first born married his sweetheart…someone we had known almost her whole life. Though they started dating after David’s high school graduation, he and Tristen had been friends for many years. They are a lovely couple and we are so blessed to have Tristen in our family. She loves and supports my son wholeheartedly, and embraces life’s challenges with a bravery I find inspiring. I love her so.

This June, my youngest son Sean will marry his girlfriend. They started dating while in high school and have worked hard to make their relationship a priority. Ellie is a beautiful young woman who seems to enjoy hanging out with our crazy family, even as we argue such earth-shattering topics as “is a hot dog a sandwich?” She’s the quietest one among us, but gives amazing hugs and listens well. I love her so.

Now I’ll have two daughters. Girls I didn’t raise but have loved for so many years. Those two girls took me for my first pedicure and introduced me to sushi, so careful to help me pick out something I would like. They love ethnic food – just like me, and they’ve helped my boys get outside their food comfort zone. They laugh with us, cry with us, eat my food and even though neither one are particularly sports fans, they endure hours of McGarvey family sports watching. They have been a part of family road trips since my concert obsession began, and the three of us have already had one girls’ day out to Galena. Much more fun to come.Girls_Galena_2017

I’m so grateful that God heard the silent cry of my heart for daughters…and He selected the perfect ones for me (and my sons’ too, of course).

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I know absolutely nothing about investments – at least the financial kind. But I work very, very hard on the relationship kind. I spent a fortune this weekend – but my return was about triple my investment, so I’m flying high right about now.

I invested in three types of relationships in the last 24 hours.

f4bea308-903e-4bc2-a206-7474aa061fd4First, my husband and I drove about 3 hours, from Iowa to Illinois, so I could eat dinner with eight of my high school classmates. The distance wasn’t an issue – we were happy to do it.  The girls in my Class of 1978 are amazing women – and for the last few years we’ve worked hard to find time to spend together. We’ve done Galena days, class reunions, and random dinner Girls’ Night Out. Not everyone can make every time, but we do what we can, making those relationships a priority. As I mentioned in a prior blog, one of our classmates is facing a long health battle and we wanted to make sure she knew she was not alone, we will stand with her and her husband as they fight the good fight. It was a night filled with the joy of life long friendships. We caught up on each others’ lives, grandchildren (or not), memory issues, and discussed what other classmates were doing. A few tears were shed too, as we talked about life and death, disappointments and joys. Not many of us have both our parents any more and those that do realize the privilege that is still theirs. We prayed for our friend, hugged over and over again, and laughed until our sides hurt. I think the people around us in the restaurant were amused. At least I hope so.

Don and I also invested in each other. He made the huge sacrifice of sitting for hours in our little car, driving through brown countryside, just so he could spend time with me. He worked in the hotel room while I met up with my girlfriends, but I was so happy, knowing he was waiting for me. We love our kids, but we are enjoying our empty nest and time devoted to each other. We don’t always fill the time with conversation – sometimes just quietly being together is enough.

And lastly, this afternoon, I spent a couple of hours investing in 11 middle and high school girls. They aren’t my own flesh and blood, but they are loved like my own. We took over three bowling lanes and had lots of laughs, gutter balls, strikes and spares, prizes and pizza. No one was the greatest bowler, but that wasn’t the purpose. Sometimes it’s just fun to get outside the church and do stuff together…see each other in a different environment. I wanted those around us to see kids who are healthy and kind, honestly enjoying each others’ company. I so appreciated the parents who stayed to help me “supervise.” I am blessed to have good new friends and good old friends.

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Are you managing your investments well? Spending time with those people that matter most in your life? Investing and mentoring our youth? Providing a healthy, godly role model for those that desperately need to see adults who love and respect them? Do you still have parents or other elderly relatives that would dearly love your attention? How much time do you commit in maintaining your marriage and parental relationships? Just a few questions I keep asking myself as I try to manage my investments.

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