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Being alone

The topic of loneliness is often tied closely to depression and I am not qualified to offer any psychological advice. This is only my own observations on the topics of being alone, being lonely and ways to rid ourselves of loneliness. If you suffer with depression, please ask a licensed professional for help.

There is nothing wrong with being alone. Yes, I know what God told Adam in the Garden of Eden. See Genesis 2:18. But if there is not a “helper suitable” for you, being alone is better. Much better. Jumping into a relationship just so you won’t be alone isn’t a very good reason at all. You’ll just end up making both of you miserable.

Sometimes being alone is a very good idea. I have observed some couples who are together only because they aren’t comfortable with themselves as singles. They think they need someone in order to be “complete” or worse yet, because they don’t really like who they are and can’t stand the thought of being alone.

Being lonely is a whole ‘nuther ball game. Some of us are surrounded by people, can even be the life of the party, but feel lonely on the inside. Being lonely has nothing to do with being alone. For me, being lonely means I don’t have anyone in my life I can trust. Maybe no one I can really talk and confide in, no one who will just listen.

I saw a blog today about loneliness. The author, Jodi Aman, gave three ways to stop feeling lonely. First, she says you need to reach out to someone. Often when we feel lonely, we withdraw and get away from people. But push against that natural inclination and get out there. Go see someone, no matter how much you don’t want to. Make a coffee date, watch kids play at the park, do something that puts you in the presence of another human being.

Aman’s second suggestion for combating loneliness is to do something with purpose. Tackle a project which will make you feel good. Maybe it could be something as simple as picking up trash at the park or serving meals at the homeless shelter. Often seeing someone else’s troubles make mine look pretty trivial. Volunteer at an animal shelter or work in the church nursery. Offer your neighbor a ride to church or youth group. See how others live and invest in someone else.

And thirdly, improve your relationship with yourself. Get honest with yourself and look in the mirror. Is that person so hard to love? Do the things I accept about myself speak truth or lies about me?

Do you like who you are when no one else is around? I hope so. If not, you need to make the necessary changes so you like who God made you to be. And I don’t mean your physical body, though maybe there are some changes you can make to your lifestyle to feel better about your body. But mostly, it’s about liking the person you are on the inside. Maybe you’ve believed things spoken over you and need to re-think what the real truth is about who you are. Parents, teachers, or friends may have said hurtful things to you and over time you’ve begun to think those same things. Do something just for you. Get a pedicure, go see a movie by yourself, learn a new hobby, start a fitness program. Choose to be satisfied with just being alone.

Sometimes-you-need-to-be-alone.-Not-to-be-lonely-but-to-enjoy-your-free-time-being-yourself

Jesus often took himself away from his disciples and the crowds so he could think and pray. He needed that “alone time” to recharge his batteries, to face the task God had given him to do, to hear from God and get refreshed in the Father’s presence. I hope you do the same thing. Take time to get alone with God. He will speak only truth to you. He loves you just as you are. There are no changes necessary to come into His Presence. It’s a place of peace, security, love and acceptance.

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