Posts Tagged ‘humility’

Taking a long look in the mirror today. Probably should do it more often. I have a problem and except for God, no one can help me solve it. My problem is pride.

img_2356As a wife, mom, ministry leader, co-worker, I need to know about a lot of things. People count on me to keep track of details and schedules, managing minuscule bits of information for later retrieval. The problem is I think I need to know a lot about everything…things that are none of my business. I think about how I would solve a certain problem, and tell others my way. I think about how I would respond to someone’s issue, and then communicate it, even though it’s none of my concern. I poke my nose into other people’s problems and most are too nice to tell me to “butt out.”

I have a tendency to think my way of doing things, saying things, thinking things, is always the best way. Pride is a beautiful, ugly monster. The two-sided coin of believing in myself, but knowing I am but clay in the hands of the Master Potter. My trust cannot be in my own abilities, but in the Creator God who formed me in my mother’s womb. Ego is necessary for life…but without that mirror of self-reflection, it becomes a weapon of destruction.

Dan Rockwell writes a daily leadership blog that I find fascinating. His blog on the 10 Practices of Humility for Egotistical Leaders is one I need to read at least once a month. Probably should post it around my house and office too. He begins with the six symptoms of egotistical leadership…things like: ego thinks “I” and “me”…ego can’t be wrong…ego dismisses criticism and correction…and my personal favorite (cringe)…ego listens with a personal agenda. “What’s in it for me? How does this make me look? Who can I blame?”

So today I’m looking in the mirror – truly seeing the pride that has become a problem in all facets of my life and asking God to forgive me, give me a new heart of humility, to serve others before myself, to show Jesus to the people I’m surrounded by every day. I pray He shows me people I need to apologize to – for offending them – even unintentionally. I’m hoping He gives me opportunity to shine His light on others. Am I self-serving or others-serving? Because if I’m a leader, a co-worker, wife, mom, or “whatever” – I need to think “you”…not “me.”





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In this first day of intentional gratitude, I want to remind you of those unexpected blessings we all receive…and when I say unexpected, I mean, never-in-your-life-thought-this-circumstance-would-turn-out-to-be-a-blessing blessing. Like being unemployed.

If you know my husband and me at all, you know we recently spent six years with no full time job and very little income. It was tough – for my husband, because, you know, men look at having no job as having no meaning in life. He struggled a bit (I’m kidding, he struggled a lot)…and had quite a few conversations with God about the whole thing. But that’s his story to tell.

It was a tough time for our kids because everything they relied on appeared unstable. They weren’t sure where we would live, how we would live, where they would finish high school, and how we were going to pay the bills. Now that I think about it, those were mostly my worries – I’ve never asked what concerned my kids back then…I should probably do that.

Nevertheless, looking back, that whole six year time period was full of God’s blessings. He provided finances for every single obligation (we paid every bill and always on time). Out of the blue, people would stop by the house to give us money saying, “God told us to give this to you today.” God blessed us with the emotional and spiritual support we needed. I read and studied the Word, and prayed on my long walks, crying and begging God to give us something, something to put our hope on…and He never let us down. Don and I had more and deeper conversations. God gave us supernatural health during a time when we had poor insurance coverage, and then provided a way to get better coverage, for the whole family, right before our son started travelling with his band. I could go on and on with story after story…not the time or place.

We learned a lot about ourselves. We learned about humility, and trust, and faith, and grace. We learned that we don’t know very much, but that God knows the beginning and the end. We learned that some people will stick with you, no matter what, expecting nothing in return. We saw God’s hand at work in our kids as He provided funds for college and travelling, when we had nothing. We cried buckets of tears – in frustration and sorrow, rejoicing and thanksgiving.

Am I glad we were without a job for that long? I’m not sure. It was rough. Our Christmas’ were sparse. We ate at home, took no vacations, purchased no new clothes. We had no church to call our own, but we were privileged to help a couple of congregations transition to new pastors. We learned a great deal about what is really important. Family. Real friends. Health. Our own relationship with Jesus, away from ministry.


And most of all, we learned God’s promises are true: He will never leave you or forsake you – even if you don’t have a job, even if you are struggling with poor health, even if you are in a difficult circumstance. He is your Rock and your Redeemer. He will turn your mourning into dancing. Ask Him to show you the unexpected blessing of this tough time and watch Him show up. God will never fail you.

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