Posts Tagged ‘expectations’

There are just some expectations worth holding on to. Like me, you probably have some expectations which are necessary for an orderly existence. We have expectations that people will follow the law, work for their wages, and treat others with decency. But I’m often disappointed by people who think of themselves first and end up putting others at risk. We’ve all been passed on the interstate by someone going way too fast for conditions, or had someone rudely butt into a line, or watched co-workers repeatedly show up late and leave early from their workplace. Usually this means additional rules made to punish all of us, due to the selfish actions of a few.

We need look no further than the current presidential campaign to see that our assumption of decent public speech and behavior is long gone; replaced with mud-slinging, tirades, and cursing. Candidates call each other horrible names that I wouldn’t allow on a playground, let alone in a public debate. But bullies will be bullies, no matter the venue.

releasing expectations

Every so often I make  the conscious and intentional decision to release my expectations of others. The actual definition of the word “expectation” is the act of looking forward or anticipating something. I have expectations of future happiness and prosperity, expectations of great health and long life. I have expectations that others will play by the rules, treating each other with kindness and concern, being generous in thought, word and deed. But sometimes, I have expectations of others that are often unrealistic so by letting go of them, I free that person to be who they are designed to be. My expectations can sometimes cause them to act in certain ways just to please me, instead of how they would naturally respond.  The act of letting go of my expectations can really be very freeing…emotionally, mentally, spiritually and even sometimes, physically.


So today, I release you from any expectation of certain attitudes and behavior and allow the Holy Spirit to be your teacher and guide.  My job is to love you and model what I believe. No more holding you emotionally hostage because you didn’t “measure up” to what I expect. My standards of decency and moral code come from the Word of God – and I hope yours do as well – but you’ll need to determine the appropriateness of your own actions…No more being the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life.


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If you’ve been keeping up with my social media postings, ask yourself “why?” Really, people. Get out there and live your own life!

#RoadTripWeekend just concluded! We got into our beds around 3 o’clock this morning, exhausted from driving through thunderstorms all the way from Madison, Wisconsin. There may have been a few miles with no rain, but very few. And my amazing husband did all the driving on the way home. Thankfully we found a BP gas station open at 1:30 a.m. in Dubuque. Not sure our bladders would have made it otherwise.

Today I’m reflecting on the ups and downs, the good and bad points from the whole experience. Interestingly enough, I did have a few disappointments. For one, my food consumption was not only unhealthy but also didn’t taste all that great either. Seriously – if I’m going to partake in mega amounts of calories, fat and sugar, it should be worth it, right?

maple bacon

So here is the best food of the weekend: Definitely CJ’s Bagels and Topped Doughnuts in Ankeny. I only had one bite of Sean’s bagel breakfast sandwich but it was sooo good. The maple bacon doughnut and sugar-coated twist were wonderful. Melt-In-Your-Mouth-Delicious. We will be visiting this place again real soon.

vesuvius pizza

Another great find was Vesuvius Wood-fired Pizza in Ames. It may have been the company (my youngest son), the fact that I adore pizza, or the toppings (Buffalo chicken and bleu cheese) but this small place was big on flavor, and wasn’t very expensive. Perfect meal right before a movie.

Honorable mention goes to the breakfast casserole, fresh fruit and protein balls I had for brunch on Sunday morning. I won’t embarrass the cooks but for newlyweds, they did a great job! Yes – I had seconds on everything. I don’t have the recipe (yet) for the protein balls but I know they contained peanut butter, honey, oatmeal, chocolate chips, chia seeds, flax and probably some other good stuff. May have been the only somewhat healthy thing I ate all weekend.

Tied for worst of the weekend: both BBQ restaurants. This is very sad. I love BBQ. I took special people out for BBQ both times and both times they disappointed. Granted, I took people who had recently experienced BBQ in Kansas City and Memphis, so the bar was set pretty high, but it wasn’t even close. I won’t say that I would never go back but there are a lot of great places I’ll try out first.

I’ll try to blog more tomorrow on some other aspects of this amazing weekend. Expectations met and a few disappointments too. But tonight is all about sleep. Serious sleep.

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pedestal person

I had a pastor friend once talk to his group of college-age students about idolizing. He said when you idolize someone, you are setting them up to fail, because no one can live up to the standards set for someone placed on a pedestal.

As flawed human beings, we will all fail at some point. When the person we idolize falls from the high place we’ve put them, we often can become disappointed or angry to discover he or she wasn’t the perfect person we thought they should be. It’s not fair to them or to us.

Don’t assign anyone a standard they cannot live up to.

That means your spouse, your kids, your boss, even (or especially) your pastor. Give up placing unreal expectations of excellence or perfection on someone else.

And, by the way, don’t do it to yourself either. Are you a perfectionist? Are you placing higher standards on yourself than you would someone else? Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself a break. Jump down off the pedestal before you fall down. Because inevitably, we all fall down. Thankfully, the grace of God helps us up again. Just stand on the ground and leave the idolizing to J-Lo, Harry and Keith.

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